throwback la sgt!

**Throwback 

Kalau lah awak nak tahu,sblm awak datang tanya saya psl dia, saya tak pernah tahu awak wujud..saya tak tahu pum awk ada hubungan dengan dia. yang saya tahu dia ada bercinta dgn budak usm,bkn uitm..tp yg tu pon senior sy bgtahu..cma senior sy tak pasti sejauhmana hubungan dorang..

Awak,senior sy nasihat sy supaya fkir panjang berkawan dengan dia..saya tanya knape,senior2 sy kata nt lama2 kwn tahu la.ni cter 3 tahun lps..klu lah sy tahu awk sdg berkwn ngn dia,xde la saya nak masuk campur dlm hbgn korg..awk ingt dia nak bgtau saya psl pmpn lain yg dia knl? Yg dia tgh on dating? Tp part plg sy bengang bla awak kata klu sy perempuan yg baik,saya takkan rampas hak orang..statement plg klakar sy pnh dgr..sy xknl pon awk,sy xtahu kwujudan awk dlm hidup dia,buat apa saya nak rampas hak org?..smpai lah satu ketika dia bgtahu saya yg awak ni kwn dia..awk suka kat dia,dia xsuka awak..fine lah,lelaki kan..nk slmtkan diri,ckp bohong..sy xamk serius sgt sbb sy pon skdar kwn jer..

bla awak contact sy kt facebook,mse tu saya dh dpt rase ada something yg xkena..tipulah klu saya ngn dia xde rse apa2 cma kami xde declare,cma walks with the flow..klu ada jodoh,ada..klu xde,saya xkisah sbb sy bkn serius sgt mse tu..tp bla sy dah tahu siapa awk,sy tanya dia..dia sampai ke sudah kata awk kwn pmpn yg suka dia..sy tgk fb awk,fb dia..sy tgk ada smtg yg related,yg kuat..saya jumpa dia,saya ckp sy xnak ada apa3 ngn dia klu btol awk ngn dia serius..sy xkisah..lps tu sy blah,lgsg xcontact dia n xnak tgk muka dia..dia ignore sy,dia bg jarak sy pkir..sy lgsg xkisah sbb sy dh tahu prangai dia dr senior sy n also dr kwn seasrama kami..dia cari sy,mtk jumpa,sibuk nak explain awak sape n apa hbgn awk ngn dia..terlintas jgk la,nape nk explain bagai..kita cuma kawan sahaja,cma sy yg xnk jd kwn dia dah..klu sy jd org yg dikata perampas, sy tak ingin..awk ingt sy xde ht perut nk wt kaum sejenis sy cmtu?kalau lahh saya tahu..

Saya jumpa dia,dia ckp xbtol psl awk..sy xpcya sbb sy pmpuan..sy fhm klu pmpn tbe2 nk melenting,mst ada sbb..dia gtau sy awk nk jmpa dia kt khalel,awk turun dr shah alam psl awk tertekaN sgt..sy kata pergi lah tapi sy nak ikut..nak tgk sape awk,nk dgr apa dia nak ckp, nk dgr sdiri..dia kata xpayah,nt awk nk wt bkn2 kt sy..sy kata nak takut knape? Org ramai kt ctu..klu xde psaan malu buat la..dia xbagi,sy dh syak..sy ckp xpelah,klu awk xbg sy ikut,sy dh fhm yg awk smbunyi smtg n tipu sy,kte xpyh kwn lg dah...so,p jumpa dia n start from today,sy xknl awk sape..jgn contact saya lg dah. Dia mengalah,dia kata ok blh ikut tp dgn syarat sy xblh dok semeja ngn awk n dia..hmmm

Bodoh jgk sy ikut kata dia,cmner sy nk dgr dia explain apa kt awk klu sy xdok ctu? Sy ada kt restoren mamak tu mlm tu,awk dok luar..sy kt dlm,sy fikir nk p ke xnak..ntah la,sy akhirnya terpaku kt ctu jer..then awk blk,dia dtg kt sy ckp everything is over..sdgkan awk cter kt sy sbaliknya...hmm slh sy ke? Kte berdua terjerat,sy tertipu..awk pon tp tu lah, sbnrnya bkn awk sorg jer buah ht dia..lps awk dtg,maka bermula la episod pmpn2 lain dtg cari dia dan saya..saya smpai penat,saya ckp kt dia..tlg lah lepaskan saya,sy xmahu hidup slm dunia awk..byk lg pmpn lain yg nk kt awk..jgn siksa sy mcm awk siksa An**..titik! Bermula tu sy mula sedar sy sayang dia,suka dia n sy biarkan psaan syg tu bertambah..

Patutnya saya abaikan dia,tp dia tak jemu memujuk,beri penjelasan,mtk peluang..hati perempuan kan? Hmm mse dia grad, dia bwk sy jmpa family dia..klu tu pon xmembuktikan apa2,dia xtau Nk buat cmner lg dah..tu yg dia kata..dan segalanya bermula kembali dgn 0-0 setelah bergelen air mata tumpah..

Harap awk faham sy bkn perampas,kte berdua terjerat cuma saya terjerat sehingga kami menjadi suami  isteri.lari lah sjauh mana,benci lah skuat mne,marah la sbyak mne pon..klu Allah dh kata ini jodohMU,.tetap terbina masjid..sy mtk maaf klu awk rse sy perampas, sy xrampas hak awak..dia yg cari saya,dia yg mulakan..harap awk maafkn dia..

**kte manusia x sempurna,ada hari dia jahil dan ada satu ketika bila Allah kata aku beriMU hidayah,maka dia beruba.. berubah btol2 berubah dr yg dulu..yg pasti sy akan titikkan dlm hati sy,mgkin ada hikmah yg aku tak nampak..bersbar dan berdoa kuncinyA..

Shame on You

there is something that i know which you do not know..something that is embarassing did by you, yes you..embarassing enough as a women whom i think basically matured enough to deal with your own attitude..but u never feel you are wrong, but you constantly said that i was wrong because i took him away from you..

when you said something bad, that i never did and will never do in my life..i think i should voice out my Words..dnt pretend to be the most innocent girl in the world, september 20,2013..sept 27,2013 you keep bashing me up like i did wrong to you..i do not know you, your ex which is now my husband tell nothing about you..i know you by myself,without my husband telling me..you came to me as women,and i honestly pity you..shame on you,

And now you start it again..may i say something dear? That would hurt you, but i myself hv my own limit..i shut my mouth all this while, i keep silent when you pointed fingers at me..sorry? I found ur embarassing stuff, very embarassing but should i mattered this to other ppl like you? What did you tell people about me? You tell bad things about me at your friends, i know because ur friends attacked me on facebook..i know nothing! ohh gosh! 

Whatever it is, i still keeping ur embarassing pics with me..nay, actually i dnt want to see it but im afraid one day you would go crazy and find me..its as a weapon,no worries..you should be thankful enough because i found it,not your husband..this is for you, a women who hide her identity behind her scarf..dnt bashEd other people like they have sinned forever,and like you are an angel..you did wrong,me too..let go and live ur life..dnt stalked me, i hate to see my privacy being stalked by you..many thanks for reading

I am A Mom to a Great Daughter!

Being a mom is the best feeling ever..eventhough u feel tired,woke up late at night to breastfeed her, but u never regret that feeling esp when you see her smile,her voice n her eyes..so stunning!

I gave born to nur qiesya adreena.bt muhamad hazri on 31st May 2015, at 1.30am at Hosp Sultanah Nur Bahiah,alor star,kedah..thats not the plan actually,i planned to go back to kelantan and give birth there..and her due date isnt around the corner,so ignore what my mother had told me to go home early..too hard to be apart from hubby..she shud be borned this 12 July..so i was thinking of going back early june, together with my niece weds..all in one..

One fine afternoon,mr hazri took me to the lake for a walk so that i could have an easy delivery soon..we have a nice walk around the lake,and otw back to changlun, I had a stomach ache..he drove me to emergency, jitra hosp and i had ctg scan to monitor my contraction and baby movement and heartbeat..everythings is okay,we went back home..

I asked my husband, what is contraction and how do i know that was contraction..i have no idea at all even i have done so many readings and researchs about contraction..he said, when the time comes,automatically i will know what is contraction..i feel uneasy since i had this stomachache a few days before..The day after tomorrow, he went to work and its his turn for afternoon shift..he will be back around 12pm at night..i feel backache and also cramped on my stomach..i couldnt stand and i feel that im giving birth soon..but i calm myself,watching tv and take a deep breath...my husband are back, i prepared his food and we start chatting abt his works today..then i feels like peeing, so i went to the toilet and i could feel a splash of water burst out from my miss V..

Im still innocent to know that my waterbag has broke..so i went to my room to change my pad..suddenly, a warm water going down and it has flooded the room..i called my husband..
Syg,i dunno whether its warerbag or what but i think so..
My husband look at me and ask, is that smellY? Any blood or liquid coming out with blood? Seems that he had his research too..my heart beating fast,but i still wants to ignore that its still not the time to give birth yet..

Syg, i think bkn waterbag..i pee here unconciously kot..since its already 33 weeks..but my kain batik has already wet..

Are you sure? If not lets go to hosp..do you feel stomachache? I said no. So we went back to living room, when im abt to sit on the mattress..once again my waterbag flows on the mattress..quickly mr hazri pulled me out of the bed, and prepared my bags..as i dress up a proper clothes, it flows down non stop until i had to change my skirt..at that time,i knew that i will give birh soon..

My husband speed up to hospital,i was refer to jitrs hosp and finally sent to alor star by ambulance..being diagnosed as PPROM, since i had leaking more than 24 hours..i was warded, being monitored for 5 days since i hv no contraction at all..the doc said i will have to stay there until my pregnancy reached 37 weeks..i sighed,a month u mean? I wanna go home with my husband..i had my injection since i am a GBS + carrier..also i had injection,  forget the name to matured baby's lungs..

The baby cnt wait,As well as mama..at week 34, i had my contraction and its getting stronger every 5 minutes..i was strolled to labour room,without my husband..i have informed him,i informed the nurse i want my husband during my delivery..i want him to see my journey..when i see him in labour room, i said i feel scared..its so hurt..he hold my hands tight, reads yaasin and talked to me..7 hours in LR, i finally gave birth to my dear lil daughter..nur qiesya adreena, i heard her tears uwekkk..uweekk...doc shows my baby,and asked her gender..i said its a girl..as soon as she was out of my stomaxh,i can feel a stone being removed out from my body..

Ya, its hurt btw giving birth to a 2.4kg baby..eventhough shes small, prematured bit its really hard to push her out..i nearly lost my breath..and i think that was the hardest part,to push her out..sadly, she was admitted to nicu, under special care to be monitored.by the docs..pity her, i was discharged at the same day..she stayed there for 13 days..

Hmm thank you husband for being with me all the times, you are there with me..i thanked you for taking care of me, and our swet lil pie.. if could wiped out ur tears, u are the most noble man and husband in the world..no matter how hard, how bad your past is..i believe that we live in present to create our sweet memories for future..i dont regret knowing somebody like you,  and i wished we had a happy family ever after..

Sincerely mom and wife,
I love you and our daughter.. 😘😘